Monday, August 28, 2006

Porno

PORN! What is it good for? Absolutely everything!!
Yes, there are many different necessities that keep our society running and you guessed it pornography is one of them. Actually, I'm in a courageous mood today, which is why I am going to say pornography is the single most important aspect of human life.
Porn shows the beauty of love between a man and a woman, or my personal favorite, between a hot woman and another hot woman.
Although porn has it limits you can't argue against it based solely on the fact you would be dead wrong.
There are many myths regarding porn that have no factual foundation. The biggest myth would be that it is only for lonely people. In most cases that is correct, but porn also gets people in the mood to have intercourse. However the biggest benefit to porn would be that you can learn many new sexual moves to impress a girl that is if you take notes.
Before I finish up (pun intended,) I should clearly point out that without porn the suicide rate would escalate at an alarming rate. Think about it.

Good Day To You All!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Picture is Worth A 1000 Words

As we wait for the pictures from the Beerlympics here is a link to a funny picture that will surely bring a smile to your face.
Enjoy!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Beerlympics a Success

Last night the first annual Beerlympics was held and it was a outstanding success. Brendan won, but all the athletes could take solace in the fact that if they lost they could just have a beer. The other athletes that participated were Zack, Robb and of course, me! This was followed by more drinking, walking and for some (Robb), vomiting. Pictures documenting this magical event will be posted when I receive them.
Good day to you all!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Emo-Tastic!

There are many things on this Earth that I may never truly understand, which is odd given my abnormally high intelligence and yes, Emo is one of those things. It just doesn't make sense! Some might think I am ignorant, which of course is utterly and completely false. I'm not ignorant and I'm sorry if I can spot out stupidity when I see it (God's gift to me!) I say we logically look at the issues concerning Emo that I find confusing.
  1. The hair. What is up with that? Sorta long, to a side and of course black. Quel supris!
  2. Eye shadow. Last time I checked that is for girls and skanks.
  3. Finger nails painted. See #2. Again it has to be black.
  4. Lip rings- My God! This is a must if you want to be Emo.
  5. Voice- What the hell is with the odd voice Emo bands use when they sing? It sounds like there nose is stuffed.
  6. The ear rings. I'm sorry, but I am sure when Emo kids become older they will regret putting huge, ugly holes their ears. (I've been told that the ear heals itself so I guess this can't count unless you take into effect the multiple ear rings Emo kids wear)
  7. Arts. Just because you do arts doesn't mean you are anymore unique then somebody. It just means you do art or write poetry and that you enjoy it.
  8. MySpace. Ruined!
  9. Clothes. Perhaps you guys should wear clothes that all don't look the same, thus completing the being more unique stage of Emo.
  10. Life. Yes life can be drag but come on put a smile on for once.
  11. Music- Just like Emo clothes it is all the same!!!
Well that is my spiel for tonight! In conclusion, I am still confused.Before I sign off here is a link of my inspiration to write this. LINK
Good day to you all!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A New Epidemic?


There is a new epidemic sweeping across our country people! It isn't dangerous and nor can it harm a human-being, except maybe its pride. It has silently been making its way on to our feet, yet no as taken notice. It is my duty to warn each and every one of you of this new epidemic. It is one so ugly that when I first saw a case of it I vomited....twice!
Scientists call them "Crocs." They are the most hideous shoes ever to have been created, but people love them. Why? Many people say they are comfortable, but I guess the creators of these "shoes" had zero fashion sense as do the buyers. Mine is no better mind you, but I know ugly shoes when I see them and these are ugly! Why, when I was at the Buskers in beautiful Halifax Nova Scotia I saw adults and even young children wearing them. I am not a religious person, but after witnessing many people wearing these shoes I ran to the bathroom and I prayed. I prayed that hopefully one day these courageous people who wear Crocs will one day come to their senses and destroy them! Have I ever worn them? No, I would never allow something so ugly to touch something so beautiful, it would be a travesty! The only thing uglier then these shoes is the prices, $29.99. People actually spend $30 to wear these. If you ask me that is a crime. You have been warned; hopefully you are inclined to listen to such wisdom. Good Day to you all!